Local Author Will Write You Into Novel For Cash

Kane is open to any
ideas people have for placement in the coming of age novel due out this fall.
You can be a swarthy guy standing on a corner. You can make a pass at Jackson’s
brainy best friend McDougal. You can have a beer at a corner bar with Jackson’s
alcoholic father, Mickey. Or, you can have Jackson beat the shit out of you—if
that’s your pleasure. Anything you want, just as long as you have cash money.
The first to step up
with a cash payment and make their way into the future best seller are longtime
friends Jesse Homes and Jack Conrad. Kane has written a scene where the
protagonists, Jackson and McDougal are looking at a Facebook post by Holmes,
who is conversing with Conrad about the virtues of Jackson Browne song, These
Days. Clicking on the Youtube link to These Days McDougal asks:
“How does this old
people shit end up in your feed?”
“That guy Jesse Holmes
was my fourth grade teacher and I don’t know, he kept showing up in that Suggested
Friends thing, so I sent a request.”
“He listens to shitty
music.”
“The Nico version of
this song is pretty good.”
“Think Nico did that
as a joke.”
“Look here,” Jackson
says with a laugh. “Mr. Holmes swooning over this stupid song:”
‘Did you know Jackson
Browne wrote this when he was just sixteen?’
‘Just sixteen?’ Conrad
says. ‘Wow, all I was doing at sixteen was failing my road test and waxing
my carrot.’
‘Yer still waxing
your carrot, Jack. lol’
‘Yeah. LOL’
“Man, these guys are
assholes.”
“Mr. Holmes was an
alright teacher,” Jackson says with a shrug.
“Really? Waxing
your carrot?”
“Yeah, goddamn mom jeans and Dad jokes. Screw them.”
In
addition to a scene like the one above, Kane is also open to selling the
dedication to the book or will mention you in the acknowledgements for a
reasonable fee. Typically these are nice little tributes to friends and family
who have put up with all the bullshit that comes along with producing a book,
but to Kane money is more important. He believes nobody really cares who
inspired you or gave you wise counsel through the writing process. To him all
that stuff is overrated. What isn’t overrated is beer money and double Crown
Royal neat. So, if you would like to be the inspiration or the wise counsel in
this story about a young man searching for his power in an unforgiving world,
Kane is open to any reasonable offer.
Of
course, all offers are subject to negotiation.
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