Chapter 1
McDougal had a blood disease or some
pituitary dysfunction bullshit that made him a little sissy runt. He wasn’t the
kind of sissy runt fuck that would cower and not fight when the bigger kids
kicked him around, he just had that pituitary shit that made him little and
weak. One spring day in the 9th grade when I was making my way through the
transition hallway from the old building to the new building of South Park High
School this red-headed moron gorilla 10th grader, Talty McManus kicked McDougal
into me and the little shit got tangled in my legs causing both of us to fall
and my books spilled all over the floor. Now, I didn’t really give a shit about
that little runt fuck McDougal, people could kick him all they wanted as far as
I was concerned, but as I lay there all twisted up with him, like always I got
really mad, especially at the sound of that fucking moron gorilla McManus and
his friends laughing while I was on the hallway floor with McDougal.
Once untangled, I scooped up my heavy
Literature Today book, jumped to my feet and with both hands cracked McManus
right upside his giant red moron head causing him to stumble back into the
hallway wall. His friends grabbed me and locked me up and when McManus regained
his equilibrium, he proceeded to bash the shit out of me until the shop
teacher, Mr. Pierson came and broke it up, Still really mad and not giving a
shit about consequences, the second I was released I threw a punch at McManus,
which just grazed his jaw and eventually landed on the chin of a very angry Mr.
Pierson. What did I care? Five days off... maybe I’d punch ten more of these
fucking morons and slide right into summer vacation.
The four of us, the flame headed gorilla
McManus, his two friends and myself were sent to the detention room. It was
determined that McDougal was the victim in all of this and was sent along to
class. Mr. Franklin the imposing security guard babysat us as we theoretically
waited for our parents to pick us up. Over the next hour or so McManus’ friends
were escorted out leaving just the two of us there separated by Mr. Franklin. I
settled in with a Nick Hornby book I was reading knowing my dad, if they could
even contact him, would tell school officials to fuck off, I was their problem
from 0745-0245.
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